Love your body, FIRST
Being unhappy with one’s body is not unique to those that are overweight, or out of shape. Sure, being ashamed or embarrassed because of being overweight or lacking muscle mass is common given the societal pressure to have certain physical shape, but did you know that many athletes; bodybuilders, competitors, fitness figures, and social media influencers who are famous for having a “great body” and living a lifestyle of fitness have just as poor and often WORSE mental health regarding how they view themselves as the next person?
Having been in the fitness industry and having the opportunity to get to know many athletes, fitness influencers, and icons on a personal level has afforded me the opportunity to get a unique perspective on mental health and how people across the spectrum of fitness levels view their own body. This opportunity, coupled with being a personal coach of thousands who generally start their journey with me in what we would consider “out of shape,” has led me to a conclusion that might surprise you.
Over the years, becoming a fitness influencer, coach, and sponsored athlete I have come to have conversations with people whom many look up to for their physiques. So often, these same people, with seemingly “godlike” physiques talk negatively about their body. They are never good enough for their own vision or standard. They aren’t lean enough, aren’t muscular enough, don’t like the muscle separation and proportions,.. I could go on endlessly with the negative statements I have heard come out of the mouths of these people regarding their “imperfections.” I would offer that the “fittest” people are more obsessive and suffer body dysmorphia to a greater degree than the average Joe or Jane. In fact, I know many elite level athletes and fitness influencers who suffer real mental health issues that can be correlated with the dysmorphia. People on anabolic steroids, who train hours a day, count every calorie and macro day in and day out, and are viewed by the masses as having a “perfect body” are so often saying to themselves, “I’m not good enough.” It is commonplace that elite level athletes and fitness models nitpick their own bodies. And this is no surprise, as it has become their career, means of income, and their self-image. The unfortunate reality is that the importance of their physical appearance has eclipsed the other aspects of their life. Who they are and how they define themselves is dependent on their appearance. Sound familiar?
So what’s my point, what do I want you to takeaway from having read this blog? Foremost, most of you reading this likely don’t have the elite level physique I’m talking about and aren’t an influencer with hundreds of thousands of followers who makes their living off fitness. So my message is to you, not the people whom you are idolizing and fantasizing about how good you might feel if you had their body. My message is; fitness is about more than how you look, I know plenty of people who look like Greek gods or goddesses and aren’t in good health. Many I know are seeing doctors because they have issues, often times that have stemmed from their obsession with their body image. Similarly, I know overweight people who are extremely confident, who have a strong image that demands respect and an aura that emits love and kindness. Image is not just about how you visually appear, your image is about how you carry yourself, how you treat others, how well spoken and kind you are.
Don’t envy those around you or compare yourself to others. Often times, the ones you are comparing yourself to have mental obstacles worse than your own that they are battling. Furthermore, when you compare your life to that of another, the life you think they live is just a creation of your own mind, it isn’t their reality and it excludes the things going on in their mind and personal life anyway. You subconsciously have created this lifestyle of health, wealth, and fame based on their highlight reel you see on digital media. That isn’t the real person, you don’t know them, or their issues or personal life. Your comparison is a fallacy derived from fantasy..
Now, I’m not justifying neglecting one’s health or implying an improved physique won’t generate pride and confidence. Indeed, I would offer the exact opposite is true. What I am saying is don’t mistake your own mental battles for not loving your body to be directly linked with having a body that by societal standards is “sexy” or “desirable .” Loving your body should not be solely based on how it looks, which I have clearly seen the first-hand evidence for in my years networking in the fitness industry. Love your body first, as it is, however it may be. Whatever size, or body fat percent, or color, or shape. Then, take care of it BECAUSE you love it. Because it takes care of you. It is a vessel, a home for your soul in this life. Don’t speak badly to yourself about it. You don’t change yourself and then love yourself. Love what you have first, then take care of it and improve it through that self-love.
You’ll never build something beautiful out of something you don’t love as it is first.